On a recent Saturday night, Maya and Arif sat down for dinner at home. Maya began sharing a story about her week, but halfway through, Arif’s phone buzzed. He glanced down, chuckled at a meme, and typed a reply. Maya stopped mid-sentence. She stirred her food in silence. They were together, but miles apart.

It’s a familiar scene in marriages today. Psychologists call it phubbing—a fusion of “phone” and “snubbing.” Phones were meant to connect us, yet in intimate relationships, they often act as a third presence, quietly edging partners apart. Research shows we are more likely to phub our spouses than anyone else, perhaps because we assume they will tolerate it. But to the partner on the receiving end, each moment of being ignored carries a heavy message: this screen matters more than you.

New studies highlight just how damaging those small dismissals can be. In 2025, a sweeping meta-analysis covering nearly 20,000 people found that phubbing consistently undermines intimacy, fuels conflict, and lowers satisfaction in relationships. It also revealed that people with insecure attachment styles, lower self-esteem, or higher levels of media addiction are more prone to engage in phubbing. Another study from the same year showed that phubbing can weaken commitment to a partner, largely by creating emotional loneliness and dissatisfaction.

Younger couples may be especially vulnerable. Research on young adults revealed that those with attachment anxiety felt phubbing most sharply. Yet the impact wasn’t uniform. Couples who approached conflict with openness and constructive dialogue were better able to soften its effects. In Pakistan, another study found that phubbing was strongly associated with conflict and lower satisfaction, with women reporting more distress than men. Together, these findings suggest that while culture, personality, and coping styles shape how phubbing is experienced, its potential to erode closeness is universal.

Think of the everyday rituals of marriage—shared meals, bedtime conversations, quiet moments in the car. Increasingly, those rituals are interrupted by phones glowing between plates, scrolling replacing pillow talk, and silence where laughter once lived. What seems like a small habit slowly reshapes the texture of intimacy.

But couples are not powerless. Therapists recommend carving out phone-free rituals, like device-free dinners or screen-free bedrooms. Others encourage sharing screens rather than hiding behind them—showing your partner the meme instead of turning away. The most important step is often the simplest: naming it. Saying, “I feel ignored when you’re on your phone,” can transform a silent habit into a conscious choice.

Phubbing, at its heart, is not just about technology—it is about presence. It is about whether we choose to look at each other or into a screen. In the end, love in the digital age is not only about staying together but about staying truly present.

If you and your partner recognize yourselves in these quiet but painful scenes, you don’t have to navigate them alone. At Nala Mindspace, clinical psychologists help couples understand how technology shapes their intimacy, rebuild trust, and create boundaries that protect connection. Because intimacy deserves your full attention.

References :

Ni, N., et al. (2025). A meta-analytic study of partner phubbing and its antecedents & consequences. Frontiers in Psychology.

Aslanturk, A. (2025). How does being phubbed affect commitment? Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

Han, Y., Li, X., Song, W., & He, Y. (2025). Young adult partner phubbing and relationship satisfaction: attachment anxiety and conflict coping style. Frontiers in Psychology.

Khan, M. L., et al. (2025). Partner phubbing, relationship conflict, and relationship satisfaction in couples in Pakistan.